Work Expansion

When your boss tells you to get something done, you think you need to get on with whatever you have been asked to do, complete the task and hope for some brownie points. Wrong, totally wrong, you novice, ignorant of the nuances of the corporate kingdom! Read on to find out how an experienced veteran would handle this.

The seasoned professional, of course, starts by saying an enthusiastic ‘yes’ to the boss. Then she proceeds to make a mental (followed by a physical) list of all possible people and departments that could even remotely be roped in. This is followed by the creation of as complex a list of subtasks, not all of them related to the main task, as possible. And then comes the master stroke – assigning a whole series of interdependent subtasks, one by one, to clueless, unsuspecting individuals or departments, making it impossible to know who needs to do what and, more importantly, who is responsible for anything.

For the benefit of those struggling to visualize what in heaven’s name I am talking about, let us illustrate with an example. Say, your boss, the VP of Sales, has asked you, the Director under him, to prepare a competitive bid for selling office supplies to a prospect that you are trying to win over from a competitor. You immediately call for a brainstorming session of about 40 people including your secretary, your company’s Administration manager (to know how office supplies are used), the janitor (to know how much paper is found in waste paper baskets every day) and some junior assistants in your office to start collating various statistics in the industry. You try, as far as possible, to avoid involving the actual Sales representative assigned to sell to the prospect under consideration.

A few days/weeks later you are sitting comfortably and reviewing an amazing array of data on manufacturing costs of paper clips in different countries, results of scientific research on the relative performance of different types of shredders and similar ‘base data’. You have successfully kept your boss (un)informed of ‘progress’ being made while shooing away the anxious salesperson for the account who is a nervous wreck by now trying to put together some numbers for the customer quote due in two days.

Things naturally, and inevitably, reach D-day. You are of course busy chasing various people who have no clue as to what they are supposed to do or what you are expecting from them. You yell at the salesperson (in front of your boss, of course) for not being able to get an extension of date for submission of the quote. You make abundantly clear to everyone in sight that you have been working 24/7 to get this complex assignment completed on time but are being let down by an incompetent organization that you are forced to work in.

Somehow, at the last minute, a proposal is hastily assembled, in spite of your objections and interference, and sent off to the customer. Your boss calls, thanks you for a job well done and proceeds to tell you that you need to get started with preparations for a sales review meeting scheduled for the following month; you quickly say, ‘yes, of course’ and – yes, you are spot on – a brainstorming session is on its way!

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