World of Acronyms

Corporate life is full of acronyms. In fact, many a corporate veteran talks only in acronyms. If you have felt inadequate, even downright miserable, in the corporate jungle for not being able to understand what is going on in conversations filled with acronyms, and felt like an outsider struggling to get in, rest assured you are not alone.

Mission and Vision statements (a corporate tool in its own right) are perhaps one of the most frequent landing spots for ingenious acronyms. DELIVER (Drive, Energy, Listen, Innovate, Validate, Exemplify, Review) could be a poignant expression (no doubt coming out of a million-dollar consultancy) that the CEO proudly put out. But to the novice employee – the corporate equivalent of the ‘layman’ – this looks like random babble coming from a child learning new words. What are you Validating? And, pardon my ignorance, what is this Energy business – are we supposed to drink Gatorade at work?

I must admit that glib acronyms look slick in presentations using power point slides – I have sat through many – especially when the flashy acronyms are designed to interlace, intersect and fly across large screens. What better way to egg people on to action than to have them DONT (Do, Own, Novel, Try) or have them MISS (Make It Seriously Simple). Once you get the hang of it, you will notice that you can confuse, I mean communicate, any idea with any sequence of letters – they soon start looking like stock symbols!

To me, entertainment in the office comes in the form of listening to two executives having a ‘business’ conversation with liberal use of acronyms:

Executive-1: Hi, how is it going? (sorry, no acronyms in this greeting)

Executive-2: Busy, pal. Trying to get this RFP (Request for Proposal) done by EOD (End of Day).

Executive-1: I know the feeling. My CTO (Chief Technology Officer) told me TYT (Take your time) but in no time turned around and told me to complete the API (Application Program Interface) document by COB (Close of business)

Executive-2: Honestly, IMO (In my opinion), these guys are nuts.  That is why I frequently WFH (Work from home) and put out an OOO (Out of office) notification.

Those trying assiduously to climb the corporate ladder might spend their time learning all the acronyms in the organization but the real smart ones invent new ones!