Calendar-Run Company

Of all the innovations, rather intrusions, of technology in day-to-day life, nothing comes close to the digital calendar in occupying the top spot. I am sure everyone (excluding those who live in a cave) is familiar with the uncomfortable buzz that your electronic devices emit to let you know that it is time for your next meeting or activity.

Those of you who are old enough to remember will long for the good old days of manual diaries and paper calendars, some hung on the wall and some others stuck to your fridge, where you had to make an entry with a pen or pencil indicating when your rent is due or when someone’s birthday is.

The corporate organizations of today seem to be run by a bewildering array of digital calendars. The calendar is no longer a productivity tool, as many management pundits would have to believe. You are effectively a slave to the master, the Calendar! In the spirit of an open office, other peoples’ calendars are game for you to insert entries at will – all you need is a blank space in time that is common across the designated audience. It helps if you are the boss as your subordinates cannot refuse your calendar ‘invite’ and you even have the authority to overwrite their ‘personal time off’.

There are many quirks in the world of calendars that provide humor and entertainment in their own right. For example, any calendar invite worth its salt will have a long list of dial-in information, for global participants, along with a series of code numbers to validate your identity. Getting past all these numbers and entering a virtual meeting on time could be a nerve wracking experience.

Then there are the innumerable updates that follow an original calendar invite.  There may be a dozen corrections to the original date, time, location (meeting room numbers are my favorite), invitees and even the very subject of the meeting – all of which will result in updated invites that will land in your inbox in random order. If you want to retain your sanity, you are best advised to ignore all these updates and hope that you will have the good (?) fortune to be at the right place at the right time.

Calendars are huge status symbols in the office. A full calendar that runs several weeks, even  months, into the future is an indication of how busy you are and, in turn, your importance in the organization. The fact that many of the meetings (the best ones are those that repeat every week or even more frequently) on the calendar are a complete waste of time is beside the point and is not to be questioned. This is where it helps to have friendly colleagues across multiple departments who can mutually invite each other to meetings, and follow up meetings, as needed. There is an ongoing, informal competition for executives to own the busiest calendars, with winners fighting hard to stay at the top.

Calendars can be used to avoid, or at least postpone, serious work. By ‘blocking your  calendar’ (a term that is all too familiar in the corporate world) for relatively unimportant, or even fictitious, discussions and tasks, you can effectively make yourself unavailable for any real work. If you manage to make yourself a part of a team that is geographically distributed, you will be able to practice this master trick with impunity, as no one person will know what all you are (not) doing – your calendar is your armor.

As with every other tool or technique in the corporate world, the calendar phenomenon can be used to your advantage.

One Trick Pony

The corporate world is full of one-trick ponies. If, as someone lost in the maze of corporate strategy (whatever that means), you feel that you are hearing, seeing and experiencing the same stuff over and over again, please take solace in the fact that you are not alone.

Quite simply, most managers and executives in an organization learn something early in their careers and make it their one-solution-fits-all-situations mantra as they make their way up the corporate ladder. The more conscientious ones may try to put different finishing touches to their single ‘trick’ from time to time but the vast majority don’t even bother with such nuances.

Say, an administration manager does a simple job of setting up a new lunch room in the office consisting of just ten steps – procure tables and chairs, install water cooler, provide a television, etc. Upon successful completion of this ‘major project’, she adopts this ‘ten step process’ to deal with any and all future assignments that she undertakes. Many moons later and in a different situation, while taking on a much more complex project such as relocating a ten thousand-people office, she can be heard explaining eloquently to her subordinates who are juggling with dozens of vendors and hundreds of different types of equipment that her ten-step process from time immemorial must be adopted.

Moving from company to company offers obvious advantages to the one-trick pony as the new company has no idea of the success or failure, or even applicability, of the trick in question. The ideal environment for the one-trick manager is where his singular panacea for all evils is merely discussed and never put to action. What better glory than to have your proposal discussed but never put to test!

Consultants benefit most from the one-trick phenomenon. Almost all consultants are getting things done by others rather than doing anything themselves. A smart consultant merely has to be part of, even aggressively attach himself to, an assignment or project forming part of services rendered to a company unfortunate enough to hire such services. Let us say that as part of implementing a new Human Resources (HR) system, the consultant puts in place an appraisal and career planning process. Once this project is done, the consultant has one specific way of doing appraisal and career planning that he will carry to his grave. In that journey of his, for the next several decades of his career, he will tout his wisdom and experience in dealing with a variety of organizations, (large and small, local and global) categories of workforce (factory workers to software architects, CEOs to janitors) and apply the same – you got it – one trick.

So, the next time you hear someone say, “From my vast experience in dealing with such situations……”, run for the hills!